When Healing Doesn’t Come
I grew up reading about the miracles Jesus performed.
As a child I used to wonder why I read about it in the bible but never saw it in the life around me. Perhaps some of it can be attributed to my lack of awareness to the daily miracles that do happen in my life, but I also wasn’t spiritually mature enough to understand the power we walk in as believers.
In Mark 16:17-18 it says, “And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons;….they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
Over the last few years I have seen healing occur in the name of Jesus. Headaches dismissed, vision restored, boils and sores healed over and limbs literally grow…all through the authority given to us through Christ.
I don’t always understand how healing works, why sometimes it happens but other times the prayers seem to fall on deaf ears. Yet even when I couldn’t see the physical healing I would declare that God is good and his plans are good.
Rewind to the end of April. Playing basketball at the YMCA I came down on someones foot and completely turned my ankle.
What began as a few weeks on crutches slowly stretched into multiple doctor visits, x-rays, time in a walking boot and physical therapy sessions.
I was diagnosed with torn ankle ligaments but my schedule didn’t really allow the full required rest. My time out on the mission field was spent in pain as I limped around trying to still do my job, and my life in Georgia came grinding to a near standstill with extracurricular activities.
There have been many lessons throughout this slow season….rest…stripping my identity as an athlete and active person…learning new ways to recharge and connect with The Lord.
Yet through it all I kept expecting a full healing moment.
I have been prayed over by so many groups of people, in so many different settings. I caught myself saying ‘God is just waiting for the perfect moment to heal me. It will come soon.’
Yet here I am…still not fully healed. I’ve had some harder moments here and there, times I’ve wanted to run and jump so bad, hike mountains, play basketball, walk pain free…and I’ve wrestled with why I am not get healthy quicker. “I’m doing your Kingdom work God, right? My ankle got worse as I was bringing your love to the people of Eastern Europe and helping serve at a training camp. Am I missing some kind of lesson?”
This stretch of my year has reminded me of one of my favorite testimonies in the bible. I have always loved reading in the book of Daniel how Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stood with unwavering faith. As King Nebuchadnezzar demanded their worship they were thrown into a furnace when they refused to worship anyone but God.
They declared that He would deliver them from the fiery furnace, but if not it wouldn’t change their view of who He is and their worship. Unwavering faith in the goodness of who God is.
So I am living with that same approach.
One day I will be fully healed. I will jump, run, dance, hike mountains and play soccer with kids all over the world again.
Until that day comes I declare that HE is GOOD. I don’t pretend to understand the mysteries of how The Lord moves and works, but I know and feel the depth of His love for me.
One day soon I will dance in the streets with the fully healthy. Watch out world.
