Another Level of Light

My mom once told me that as a young boy I would ask her to watch me and tell me how good I was at something. I can just see little 8 year old Daniel running around my backyard in South Florida, “Mom! Come watch me hit this baseball and tell me how good I did.” “Mom! Watch me ride my bike around the driveway and tell me how fast I went!”

I’ve always naturally craved the affirmation and attention of others, perhaps a bit more than the average person.

I didn’t need a series of personality tests to tell me that I had a tendency to be performance driven. That in moments of stress my default is to simply work harder and ‘fix’ my way out of a situation. That I can occasionally seek the affirmation of friends, leadership, peers more than resting in the love of my heavenly father.

Not only am I aware of that, I’m incredibly thankful it doesn’t define me.

The last few years God has brought me leaps and bounds in this area. From years of image conscious, and success driven mentalities to a peace and joy that comes when I realized that I was truly a son of God. No works or success could earn His love, but as I simply accepted His love all of my works/fruit looked so much sweeter. Where I used to look towards friends, girls, family, finances and work for affirmation of my ‘success’ my eyes now gently turn towards what God has to say about me.

Yet I have discovered in life that sometimes there is always another level to go.

Much like a house with multiple stories, there was a whole new level that God wanted to turn the lights on and bring freedom.

As I write this I’ve been in Asia for 7 weeks. An unusually long trip for someone in my job, but it’s been full of some incredible moments and opportunities…and I have been able to see many of the reasons I felt God asking me to stay on ‘the field’ for so long.

It’s also had some challenges; one was when I found myself struggling in a performance mindset a few weeks ago. I was feeling a bit stressed with my job, a lot of things just seemed to be going ‘wrong’ in a short amount of time and perhaps the physical toll of being in 5 different countries in 45 days was wearing on me.

I wanted to tell God, “I’ve been through this! You’ve shown me all these things and yet I still can’t fully conquer them…I feel a bit like I’m failing by having to relearn old lessons.’

As I actually took some time to sit with him and slow my busy schedule I felt him reminding me that they weren’t simply old lessons, they were similar lessons with new depth.

God has given me gifts and skills, some of which make me very good at my job…but none need to be used in a mentality of performance. I’ve known that, but I felt God revisiting it because he’s not in the business of having parts of our heart…he wants the whole thing.

He’ll take us back to the issues until His light and truth have reached all of the corners and cracks. Until true freedom is found.

If you’ve found yourself revisiting some areas of your life you thought you had grown past, don’t be discouraged…it’s just a new level of Freedom you’re getting to experience!

I’m heading back to America on June 5^th and looking forward to a summer in the USA with friends/family. Thanks for all the payers and support! Much Love!